http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/A rambling blog about my life, loves and feelings. There also may be some mention of tea, small things and animals... Anything else that pops into my head will also be reported!en-EUMokoFeed10http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/d9/20831a6351e27e86626a4b688f05cb_160x200.jpghttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/03/i-now-know-who-the-unknown-father-is-6441857/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-07-03:/2009/07/03/i-now-know-who-the-unknown-father-is-6441857/Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:15:23 +0200 <p><em><strong>Yesterday I wrote a letter to my mum, and I left it by the kettle. I then sent her a text so that she knew where to look for it, though she didn't know what it was about.</strong></em></p> <p>When I got home I walked in and fussed over the dog, then went through to mum and told her about the dieticians call (They're putting me on a strict GI/Diabetics diet in the hope to sort out my fainting etc without pills)</p> <p>Then asked her whether she wanted a cup of tea.</p> <p>My heart was pounding, I could hardly look her in the eye... thankfully having a dog that is happy to see you helps with that issue. <img src="http://www.blog.co.uk/image/smileys/08wink.gif" alt=""></p> <p>I was making the afore mentioned hot beverage when she came through to the kitchen and said: "So you want to know about your dad, there's not much to tell."</p> <p>The Mr P. He doesn't even know about me.</p> <p>Mum had two partners within that time. One she didn't really like Mr P, and broke it off after one time, and one she did like but who seemed to be a woman's man so after one time with him she distanced herself, Mr G. This was all within a few weeks and she didn't have any periods then to give her some insight into time passing. In fact she thought she was infertile.</p> <p>She thought it was Mr G when she worked back in her head, and ended up doing  paternity test when he demanded one, even though he wasn't part of the life or on the birth certificate. This came back negative. Cue a lot of embarressment and a lot of people being bitchy towards mum though she never asked him for anything at all, she didn't think he'd be able to do it anyway. Mr G stood up for her though...</p> <p>She doesn't remember Mr P very well, remembers just about where he lived, he was an 18 year old, she was 21. She'd stopped seeing him as she didn't like him, and when she realised he was the father after I was born and after the paternity test, she thought that it was best not to tell him and she didn't think he had the best background. Her reasoning was that having a father that was inconsistant would be worse than one not there at all.</p> <p>And to be honest I am happy, I'm very very loved.</p> <p>But now what do I do? Do I try to contact him? Do I find him but not contact him, just to have a sneaky peak at where 23 of my chromosomes came from? Won't it be a kick in the face for him to find out he has an adult offspring he was none the wiser of? </p> <p>Seems to be getting easier but more complex in one fell swoop!</p> <p><em><strong>Alexa<br>xxx</strong></em> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/03/i-now-know-who-the-unknown-father-is-6441857/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>worrieddadmumknowharderparentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/03/i-now-know-who-the-unknown-father-is-6441857/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/02/letter-to-mum-about-dad-i-ve-never-known-6441582/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-07-02:/2009/07/02/letter-to-mum-about-dad-i-ve-never-known-6441582/Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:15:54 +0200 <p>I wrote the letter to mum about my dad, and that I wanted to know who he was and the cirucmstances around it.</p> <p>I cried as I wrote it. I didn't realise that it was so hard for me.</p> <p>I've left the note by the kettle and I've sent her a text so that when she gets home it'll be there. I'll be at my evening job, it's going to be nerve wracking when I get back in at 7.</p> <p>I kinda want to go and move it. My stomach is all twisted and I'm scared.</p> <p>Do I want to know? Am I about to really hurt her feelings?</p> <p>I've made the first move, all I can do now is wait!</p> <p><strong><em>Alexa<br>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/02/letter-to-mum-about-dad-i-ve-never-known-6441582/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>notletterknowingscaredmumdadhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/02/letter-to-mum-about-dad-i-ve-never-known-6441582/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/01/do-i-want-to-know-who-my-dad-is-6432560/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-07-01:/2009/07/01/do-i-want-to-know-who-my-dad-is-6432560/Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:08:35 +0200 <p>I spoke to my aunt last night, and though she wouldn't tell me who my dad was or the circumstances around it -as she's been sworn to secrecy-, she did basically say that I should prepare myself for it.</p> <p>Now that scared me. The way she was talking about it made me think, do I even want to know? My aunt told me it would be best to write mum a letter and be straight with what I want etc, and therefore give her time to collect herself and make mum know I'm not judging her.</p> <p>I keep thinking, I've gone these 20 years without knowing, is there any reason to know now? My aunt also said something about "telling the child is all about ensuring the child is well balanced and sometimes them knowing can effect their perception etc", which makes me wonder, am I about to hear something that is going to hurt me in anyway? Maybe I'm a pessimist but what if it turns out to be something I really don't want to know? But part of me really wants to know.... It's not often people don't know who their dad is, usually they're dead, or just didn't want anything to do with them...... This is much different.</p> <p>Aunt also said that I should ensure I keep mum's confidence, and I shouldn't tell anyone, not even my boyfriend. That worries me more! Surely.... Oh I don't know what to think. How bad is it going to be?</p> <p>Tonight mum's partner isn't in, so I <strong>could </strong>do it tonight. Yet when I think of doing it I get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I worry so badly.</p> <p>Do I want to know who my dad is? Will it help me or make everything worse? Will I hurt my mum? She will be thinking of a time she obviously wants to forget....</p> <p><strong><em>Alexa<br>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/01/do-i-want-to-know-who-my-dad-is-6432560/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/07/01/do-i-want-to-know-who-my-dad-is-6432560/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/30/the-dad-i-ve-never-met-6422988/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-29:/2009/06/30/the-dad-i-ve-never-met-6422988/Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:15:11 +0200 <p>I've never known my father.<br>I don't even know his name.<br>I have <strong><span>NEVER</span></strong> spoken to my mum about it.</p> <p>I'm 20 years old<br>He may be dead, he may be alive. I'm not sure I even want to meet him. <br>I would just like to know who he is, or at least the story of my conception</p> <p><span>I know:</span><br>My mum had a paternity test done for someone she'd seen:<br>It was negative<br>My mum didn't find out she was pregnant until she was 4 months gone <br>(due to just comming off the pill and her periods not returning)<br>She would have had an abortion, the GP said she couldn't<br>My cousin mentioned a 'Mick' lodger person he remembers.</p> <p>Now I need to decide, do I ask my mum? I'm scared I may hurt her, as it can't have been a good time for her, 22, pregnant, failed paternity test, child she didn't want, post natal depression. Yet she's a very strong and determined person and I'm worried she'll be angry too!</p> <p>What do I do?</p> <p><strong><em>Alexa<br>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/30/the-dad-i-ve-never-met-6422988/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/30/the-dad-i-ve-never-met-6422988/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/walking-around-in-my-nudey-pants-6419775/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-29:/2009/06/29/walking-around-in-my-nudey-pants-6419775/Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:16:32 +0200 <p>....and peeing with the toilet door open.</p> <p>Don't you just love walking around the house naked and being able to be free with yourself and your surroundings. Especially wen it's boiling hot outside and it's best to be in no clothes.</p> <p>Just remember not to walk infront of the windows in your nudey pants.... A quick drop to your knees and crawl to cover has to be done then =P (yes I have had to do that this morning)</p> <p>Ouside again me thinks to enjoy the sun</p> <p>Hope you're enjoying your day =)</p> <p><strong><em>Alexa<br>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/walking-around-in-my-nudey-pants-6419775/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/walking-around-in-my-nudey-pants-6419775/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/55-things-10-to-1-answers-6416946/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-28:/2009/06/29/55-things-10-to-1-answers-6416946/Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:33:58 +0200 <p><strong><span>TEN: Things you wish you could say to ten people right now:</span></strong></p> <p>1. I love you more than you know <br>2.Please wash yourself and your clothes more often.<br>3.Take responsibilty for your actions more often.<br>4.You have a bloody martyr complex. Inferiority complex with a supereriority complex about it.<br>5. I love you, but you need to respond much more<br>6. There is more to life than your boyfriend. Your crying is just a show.<br>7.You annoy me when you're so bullysome<br>8.I hope that you're proud of me<br>9.I miss you so terribly. I hope there is an afterlife.<br>10. Sometimes I think I'm still in love with you.</p> <p><strong><span>NINE things about yourself:</span></strong></p> <p>1. I get annoying bouts of acid reflux<br>2. I'm size 6 and have cellulite.<br>3. I like crap tv<br>4. I'm scared that people are going to realise I'm not as intelligent as I may seem<br>5. I put 'lol 'way too much for my higher lexical register mind, but the more lax, youthful mind relishes it<br>6. I love animals, but I worry I'm to lazy to give them the love they require<br>7. I can't keep many secrets from my boyfriend. Only my own. People see us as a duo so that's ok cause he can keep secrets.<br>8. Sometimes I look really crap. I have to try at looking good.<br>9. I hate people who have children just so they don't have to work and get a council flat. ARGH!!!!</p> <p><strong><span>EIGHT ways to win your heart:</span></strong></p> <p>1. Tell me you love me<br>2. Write me a letter<br>3. Be spontaneously romantic<br>4. Text me randomly to tell me you miss/love/want me<br>5. Pick a song/s that remind you of me and tell me<br>6. Like singing/listening to me singing (it'll happen in the car)<br>7. Care for me when I'm unwell<br>8. Always be as cheerful as possible</p> <p><strong><span>SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:</span></strong></p> <p>1. My future (with him)<br>2. Love<br>3. Music<br>4. Family<br>5. Friends<br>6. Uni<br>7. How I can be good enough for him</p> <p><strong><span>SIX things you do before you go to bed:</span></strong></p> <p>1. Talk to people<br>2. Check phone<br>3. Text people<br>4. Make my bed. (I like to get into a tidy bed)<br>5. Check e-mail/internet etc<br>6. Think</p> <p><strong><span>FIVE people who mean a lot.</span></strong></p> <p>1. My other half<br>2. My mum<br>3. Family (people all at same level)<br>4. Cr<br>5. Fs</p> <p><strong><span>FOUR things you’re wearing right now.</span></strong></p> <p>1 Bra<br>2.Thong<br>3. strap top 4. PJ shorts</p> <p><strong><span>THREE songs that currently describe your life.</span></strong></p> <p>1. Every time we touch - Cascada<br>2. Sincerely me - New found glory<br>3 La Roux - Going in for the kill</p> <p><strong><span>TWO things you want to do before you die:</span></strong></p> <p>1. Marry the man I love<br>2. Have his children/ be a family</p> <p><strong><span>ONE most important thing in your life:</span></strong></p> <p>1. Love</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/55-things-10-to-1-answers-6416946/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/29/55-things-10-to-1-answers-6416946/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/blood-tests-and-fainting-fits-6387446/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-25:/2009/06/25/blood-tests-and-fainting-fits-6387446/Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:33:45 +0200 <p><strong><span><em>When I die any part of my body that is salvagable should be used to help save the life of someone else; I won't be needing it anymore.</em></span></strong></p> <p>I want to help whilst alive too, be an altruist.... I really want to donate blood. One big, big problem though:<br> <strong>Me + My blood = Fainting.</strong> </p> <p>Doesn't sound to bad but I hate the feeling of the world spinning, tunnel vision, sever nausea and the inevitable losing of consciousness. If you've never fainted - and I mean you were upright then wake up on the floor, can't remember the inbetweeny stages fainting - then I wish I was you. Why am I a wussy? I could quite happily -ok not happily, but you understand my meaning - watch you get bludgeoned to death, guts, gore and blood everywhere. <strong><span>Fine-with-me.</span></strong></p> <p>Cut my leg shaving though? Oooooo now that is a totally differen kettle of fish and means I'm most likely going to lie down or fall down.... the former is prefered. My boyfriend has had to help me from the shower a few times....Very attractive for him =S</p> <p>Today I had more blood taken. I've been having some issue with sleeping if I eat more than a sandwich, and generally not feeling very well after eating. The nice NHS people are checking my digestive enzymes, thyroid function etc thus I had a 'Nil By Mouth' thus no food or drink 12 hours.... <em>Really easy unless you're at a friend's birthday where they're eating pub food, cake and drinking alcohol..... </em></p> <p>I also had a really sore throat yesterday, and woke up in the night and went to drink water! When I realised what I was doing I had to run to the toilet and spit it out as it could have affected the results.</p> <p>Anyway, woke up at 3am. (I'd fallen asleep at 1am) Sods law, I couldn't sleep thus read until 8am when my ex Leo came to pick me up. We went to the hospital.... Now I don't know if they're taking the royal piss but the blood testing department was ages away. I was thinking "I haven't eaten or drank anything in 13 hours... I don't want to continue walking to get there.... and I sure as hell don't want to walk all the way back either after you steal my blood which I <em>created thank you very much!"</em></p> <p>Anyhoo, got there, picked up my number and waited for 10 mins. When they called my number the younger lady was like "ooo I haven't done one of these and this requires the bigger syringe so I'll just talk to my supervisor" I was like ARGH, MORE blood than normal?</p> <p>But finally the nice lady came in. She was fabulous, it hardly hurt and she was really nice. The poor first lady had to run up and down stairs as the blood had to be put in ice straight away and then taken straight to the testing labs. I felt so guilty for her! She tried chatting to me, but I was quite happy with my head lolling to the side, drifting in and out of consciousness and feeling sick lol.</p> <p>When I'd done my fair share of fainting, I held on my ex and we went home. I was home by 10. Not too shoddy for a morning really. I was really fainty in his car and had my head on his shoulder when he was driving. I hope he didn't get the wrong impression.</p> <p>This means no more blood tests for a little while. I'm so glad. I was sat in the chair and wanted to run. I heard a younger girl crying, but she didn't faint (lucky so and so)</p> <p>Ah well, it's over with now. I can get on with life =)</p> <p>Alexa<br>xx</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/blood-tests-and-fainting-fits-6387446/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/25/blood-tests-and-fainting-fits-6387446/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/does-a-cup-of-tea-count-as-food-6371219/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-23:/2009/06/23/does-a-cup-of-tea-count-as-food-6371219/Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:06:09 +0200 <p>Blah. I should go and eat, but there isn't much food in the house and I don't really feel like eating.</p> <p>Yet I have eaten all of nothing since rising from my bed at an early 11am. No education is fun for sleeping.</p> <p>Best go and raid the cupboards before I go to work at 5, as otherwise I'll have a headache, be fainty and spend the time looking like I'm out of it. I will be out of it.... though not due to recreational drugs.</p> <p>There's nothing I fancy eating. God damn the respiration of food substrates to create the ATP needed for doing sodding anything. <br>I like the sun.... Why can't I be an autotroph? Photosynthesis is so much easier, creat eenergy whilst sunbathing, what can be better?....</p> <p><strong><span><span>Does A cup of tea count as food?</span><br></span></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Alexa</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/does-a-cup-of-tea-count-as-food-6371219/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tea-food-faint-work-lifehttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/does-a-cup-of-tea-count-as-food-6371219/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual-girl-6370595/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-23:/2009/06/23/heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual-girl-6370595/Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:44:58 +0200 <p>I have a friend Rach, who I met a few years ago at college who at first professed herself to be Bisexual - She had a boyfriend at the time.</p> <p>Then she's professed herself to be Lesbian. She's dated boys but couldn't love them, or feel as sexually attracted to them but liked G-spot penetration- <span>She had a girlfriend for a while.</span></p> <p>Now from being a complete Lesbian she started seeing my first ever boyfriend Matt, after I introduced them. Though he really liked her, and I warned her to be careful, she just wanted to be wanted and to have sex. Unfortunately he couldn't quite get erect enough for sex (same problem occurred a few times when I was seeing him 3 years ago when he messed me around....)</p> <p>She ended up hurting him, as she told me she'd told him straight it was a fling, but looking at the texts and e-mails she'd sent him they were not obvious:</p> <p>They said <em>"I'm not ready for full committment with you yet as I've just got out of a relationship and don't want to feel trapped and hurt you, but I really enjoy being with you and really like you, and I think we'd have what it takes i the future..."</em> </p> <p><span>Yeah, really sounds like she was only wanting a fling</span>. </p> <p>Maybe she was doing in consciously to feel wanted, maybe unconsciously, but behind it all is her need to be wanted and loved.</p> <p>Then she started seeing another girl behind his back and then became her girlfriend. Matt was very hurt. It didn't last very long with this girl. Matt kept looking into anything Rach said to see if there was anything there. I think he still does. She was quite mean with him at the end. I didn't like that side of her.</p> <p>Now she's with one of her best friends, Lee. Goodness I just don't know hot to keep up with her. In the past year and a half she's been with or 'been in love with' 7 people at least of either gender.</p> <p>I know she's younger, she's cheated on every partner she's had, and she dismisses people with a wave of her hand and a goodbye and doesn't seem to understand their pain and just finds it annoying. I find it annoying, but its her attitude I find annoying not theirs.</p> <p>I still love her, as most people do, but it's just hard to go out and have every guy falling at her feet who she then breaks the hearts of. I'm not jealous of the guys falling for her, that's fine, I have my boyfriend and I wouldn't want it anyother way.</p> <p>Maybe I see in her what I used to be when much younger. Maybe thats why I dislike it so much as I disliked what I was back then. Yet I was never as bad as her. Maybe I'm just a hypocrit.</p> <p>We all know as soon as she goes to Uni Lee will be forgotten.....</p> <p><strong><em>Alexa<br>xxx</em></strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual-girl-6370595/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/heterosexual-bisexual-homosexual-girl-6370595/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/long-walks-and-deep-talks-6370446/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-23:/2009/06/23/long-walks-and-deep-talks-6370446/Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:19:04 +0200 <p>Yesterday my ex leo came over. We chatted for a while. He took me to McDonalds - though I know it's against my low sugar diet - and then we went for a walk with the dog. <br>It was really suprising actually as when we were together he hated walking the dog with me. I don't know if he now cares, or if he's trying to make himself look better than before. Maybe he's just changed. But we walked the dog for about 2 hours and chatted all the while.</p> <p>It was realy nice to talk about anything from our favourite bands, to deep feelings etc. I miss him as a friend, so it's nice that we've finally got to a stage after 2 years that we can be close as friends,and I don't feel like he's trying to come onto me at al or emotionally black mail me.</p> <p>He's currently heartbroken over a girl he likes who is a bit flighty to put a polite word to it. She's currently seeing his best mate even though she said she wanted to be with Leo. But now he can't in all consciousness get with her even if he really likes her after she's been with his best friend and he knows his best friend has really deep feelings for her and he doesn't want to hurt him like that at all. It's nice to findthat some people still have old fashioned, rather caring, morals.</p> <p>I hope that he finds someone soon. He deserves someone. It's funny as he used to say that he would never find anyone else but now he's slept with more people than me. Not sure how many, I never felt I was close enough to ask him, but maybe now I can!</p> <p>I think he also had sex with a prostitute in Amsterdam just after we broke up. Some of his mates who hadn't yet had sex lost their virginity to prostitues as well. =S I just see sex as a loving actt, so I find it hard to imagine people sharing their bodies with anyone at any time. I've done that once and I didn't like it. In fact I was going for the relationship, whereas the guy just wanted sex. =S Oh well, life changes.</p> <p>Alexa<br>xxx</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/long-walks-and-deep-talks-6370446/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/long-walks-and-deep-talks-6370446/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/exams-are-over-living-for-pleasure-6367225/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-23:/2009/06/23/exams-are-over-living-for-pleasure-6367225/Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:19:15 +0200 <p>I'm so glad that my exams are now over. I can finally enjoy a book without being worried that it shall impact on my revision</p> <p>I can be myself, get up when I want, do what I want and enjoy being myself.</p> <p>Well....Until September and Uni, but that's another matter! Until then, I have about 3 months of nothing. Lovely.</p> <p>My boyfriend is working far away at the moment, but thankfully it's only until we go away on holiday and then hopefully he'll be much closer to home. I hope.</p> <p>Holiday. I can't wait. Sun, Sea and Sex.</p> <p>Lets hope that the condoms do their job.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/exams-are-over-living-for-pleasure-6367225/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sex-holiday-exams-love-boyfriendhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/exams-are-over-living-for-pleasure-6367225/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/using-one-word-6367084/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-06-22:/2009/06/23/using-one-word-6367084/Tue, 23 Jun 2009 00:37:55 +0200 <p>USING ONLY ONE WORD:</p> <p>Where is your mobile phone?<br>Bed</p> <p>Your significant other?<br>home</p> <p>Your hair?<br>long</p> <p>Your mother?<br>Independent</p> <p>Your father?<br>unknown</p> <p>Your favourite thing?<br>boyfriend</p> <p>Your dream last night?<br>love</p> <p>Your favourite drink?<br>Rosé</p> <p>Your dream/goal?<br>family</p> <p>What room are you in?<br>Bedroom.</p> <p>Your hobby?<br>writing</p> <p>Your fear?<br>lonliness</p> <p>Where do you want to be in 6 years?<br>married</p> <p>Where were you last night?<br>Here.</p> <p>Something that you aren't?<br>tall</p> <p>Muffins?<br>no</p> <p>Wish list item?<br>Wii.</p> <p>Last thing you did?<br>ebay</p> <p>What are you wearing?<br>underwear</p> <p>TV?<br>off</p> <p>Your pets?<br>asleep</p> <p>Friends?<br>elsewhere</p> <p>Your life?<br>happy.</p> <p>Your mood?<br>chilled</p> <p>Missing someone?<br>many</p> <p>Drinking?<br>no</p> <p>Smoking?<br>No.</p> <p>Your car?<br>None.</p> <p>Something you're not wearing?<br>socks</p> <p>Your favourite store?<br>waterstones</p> <p>Your favourite colour?<br>blue</p> <p>When is the last time you cried?<br>yesterday</p> <p>Where do you go to over and over?<br>work</p> <p>Five people who email me regularly?<br>yes</p> <p>My favourite place to eat?<br>home</p> <p>Favourite place I'd like to be at right now?<br>bed</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/using-one-word-6367084/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>one-wordhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/06/23/using-one-word-6367084/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/06/poem-today-yesterday-tomorrow-5516795/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-02-06:/2009/02/06/poem-today-yesterday-tomorrow-5516795/Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:07:54 +0100 <p>I just decided to write a poem. It's not amazing, the assonance is a bit pants but it was spur of the moment really, and took all of 3 mins... if that! It just reflects my current mellow mood where I enjoy feeling a bit down in that my creative side flourishes and my happy days feel so much better. I have written better. I have written worse. I think I shall write an indirect sequel!<img src="http://www.blog.co.uk/image/smileys/05biggrin.gif" alt=""></p> <p><span><strong>Today, Yesterday, Tomorrow<br></strong></span><br>Today I write for heartache<br>Today I think of me<br>Today I sing the sad songs<br>With a woeful melancholy</p> <p>Today I am so dark<br>Today my mind is black<br>Today I can't seem to find<br>How to gain all that I lack</p> <p>Today I feel like a thundercloud<br>Today I am the rain<br>Today I am the darkness<br>That shrouds my sudden pain</p> <p>Today I am Ophillia<br>Today I am Hamlet<br>Today I am the sad feelings<br>Of all the characters I have met</p> <p>Yesterday I was happy<br>Yesterday I did smile<br>Yesterday I sat and laughed<br>In the light for a short while</p> <p>BUT:<br>Tomorrow I'll be better<br>Tomorrow the darkness will pass<br>Tomorrow I will be wide awake<br>As Alice in a lookingglass</p> <p>But for now I shall be mellow<br>I shall sit in my darkened mood<br>So that in comparison <br>Tomorrow will feel so very good</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/06/poem-today-yesterday-tomorrow-5516795/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/06/poem-today-yesterday-tomorrow-5516795/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/04/the-gym-experience-5506094/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-02-04:/2009/02/04/the-gym-experience-5506094/Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:42:57 +0100 <p>You may or may not know that I am currently a member of a local gym, well more my boyfriend's local gym than  mine, but hey pickers cannot be choosers.... (never understod that, surely if you're picking then you are definitely choosing.... I digress!!!) I hadn't gone much due to being ill many times over the sept-dec period when I found a lump and went to get it checked out. I also had other bodily stuff going on so it meant that I felt a bit depressed etc and was just constantly ill and didn't want to go again until I was as well as could be!</p> <p>So now, after my exams I am back at the gym, and liking it very much thank you! Well as much as you can possibly like a gym as I'm sure you al know that it can get quite repetative etc and without music or a book (for the reclining bikes only) it is one of the most boring pass times in the world!</p> <p>A week ago one of the nice guys who works there (so sweet) S said that had I heard of this new experience thing, for 20 britoish pounds one off payment and they would check on me every week or so, check hiegh weigh blood pressure, lung capacity etc regularly and design me a specific work out routine. Every few weeks I'd get a personal training session thrown in and basically they would browbeat me into continuing with my much healthier exsistant......</p> <p>As crazy as I was, I said yes. I went for my induction last night and suprisingly I loved it very very much! I get something akin to a longrubbery pole and role my whole legs up it slowly, stopping for ten seconds where it hurts. This is supposed to warm up the muscles and allow blood flow, so you don't have to do the warmy-upy and stretchy stuff as this does it for you.</p> <p>Then I do some ankle exercises, and do the Micheal Jackson leaning shizzle to help my legs then get on the treadmill and do a staggered run thing... well i do walk run walk run etc for half an hour to help the cardio vascular fitness. He's shown me how to get to the setting where it does it automatically which is a bonus!</p> <p>Then arm and uperbody workouts, then the dreaded planks. I don't mind them, they're just very hard for me right now as my core stability is pants to put it mildly!!! Then a side plank for 30 seconds. Also pants. Then I do the rolly up and down the leggy thing again and I'm all set. Oh I think there were some squats in there too... I think =S Oh well I have a list there to remind me what I'm doing!</p> <p>Anyway I think I'm going to go and.... do nothing realy but I'm going to go and do it non-the-less!!!</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/04/the-gym-experience-5506094/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/04/the-gym-experience-5506094/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/03/snow-laptop-sex-5495846/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-02-02:/2009/02/03/snow-laptop-sex-5495846/Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:33:50 +0100 <p>In that order.</p> <p>All three things made me very happy.</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/03/snow-laptop-sex-5495846/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>snow-laptop-sexhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/02/03/snow-laptop-sex-5495846/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/27/read-hilarious-complaint-letter-to-richard-branson-5457411/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-27:/2009/01/27/read-hilarious-complaint-letter-to-richard-branson-5457411/Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:51:34 +0100 <p>This is brilliant. It had me howling with laughter and is definitely true!</p> <p><a title="Funniest Complain Letter!" href="http://timesnews.typepad.com/news/2009/01/apparently-sir-richard-branson-thevirgin-bossthought-this-was-the-funniestletter-of-complaint-hed-ever-received------dear.html">Funniest Complaint Letter</a></p> <p>I'm still giggling to myself!</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/27/read-hilarious-complaint-letter-to-richard-branson-5457411/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>lifehttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/27/read-hilarious-complaint-letter-to-richard-branson-5457411/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/23/hair-today-gone-tomorrow-new-hair-new-year-5433468/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-23:/2009/01/23/hair-today-gone-tomorrow-new-hair-new-year-5433468/Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:33:36 +0100 <p>I got my hair cut today. It's went from touching my bum to hardly even grazing my boobs. OMG. I was shell shocked as I felt it fall to the floor!</p> <p>The hairdresser was really nice though, and she layered it very lightly for me, so when I go in a few months I can do more r less to it, depending on what I want... she said "Best to take it slowly after losing so much hair!"</p> <p>I'm still stunned. In the past two hours I've had 5 "OMG you've cut your hair" and 1 "oh you look lovel" *notices hair.... stunned silence* from the boyfriend, then a smiling "oh wow!". Everyone seems to love it, but I know it's going to be repeated10 fold on monday at college, by then I may wish I'd never done it for all the attention i'd get for it!</p> <p>I'm still shocked myself. I look like some of my mates now. I don't know if I like it or not! =S</p> <p>Also my lap top never came. I'm so very upset =( It won't be here until monday now... or tuesday the latest... *fingers crossed*, I hope someone is going to be around to get it or that's going to be ages until I'll finally get it!</p> <p>anyway, lover boy is down stairs cooking pasta and I realy should go and help him!</p> <p>bye!</p> <p>xxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/23/hair-today-gone-tomorrow-new-hair-new-year-5433468/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/23/hair-today-gone-tomorrow-new-hair-new-year-5433468/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/22/4-exams-1-uni-offer-1-laptop-and-a-hair-appointment-5421045/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-21:/2009/01/22/4-exams-1-uni-offer-1-laptop-and-a-hair-appointment-5421045/Thu, 22 Jan 2009 00:06:00 +0100 <p>The title says it all really. The exams went ok today, though I wish they were more spread appart, and I think I yabbered in Pschology as I couldn't rememeber the actually definitions of Error is attribution causality, but I yabbered, so should have got some points (I hope) if not it's a resit for me me! So two down, two to go tomorrow. English and Biology. I think Biology is a given, but English is so nebulous in the questions and what they want and is so subjective that you could get someone who agrees or disagrees with you even if you back up the comparison etc. Grrr.</p> <p>I also got my uni offer from the uni I want to go to, so I am amazingly happy with that. I danced around a little bit too. They wrote me a personal letter, with much info I'd put in my personal statement in it, so it's nice to see they've digested the information! Don't know what I have to get but I'm guessing it's a BBA at least. *fingers crossed*</p> <p>Also I'm one day closer to getting my laptop. I had the ambiguous "2-4 working days" so that could mean tomorrow, friday or even monday! =( Hopefully very very soon as I am very excited about it.</p> <p>And the most shocking thing of today is the hair dressing appointment that I'm booking tomorrow for friday afternoon. Scary! Especially since my hair touches my bum and I want it cut back to my chest and styled a bit. Very scared!  I have hardly ever been to a hairdresser. My aunt always cut my hair, I can rmemeber going to a hairdresser twice, and once was just for a hair style for a wedding... I am a bit of a hair salon novice as can be seen by my derierre length hair! Yet my mum's also grows immensely quickly so fingers crossed mine does too so if i don't like it I can grow it out!</p> <p>anyway.... I should revise some more for the exams though there isn't much I can do for english. Boo!</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/22/4-exams-1-uni-offer-1-laptop-and-a-hair-appointment-5421045/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/22/4-exams-1-uni-offer-1-laptop-and-a-hair-appointment-5421045/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-am-getting-a-new-laptop-and-thus-i-am-immensely-happy-5412558/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-20:/2009/01/20/i-am-getting-a-new-laptop-and-thus-i-am-immensely-happy-5412558/Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:09:32 +0100 <p>Actually stating that the laptop is new makes it seems like I already have a laptop. I do not! It shall be my first baby, my own laptop what I have put blood, sweat and tears into owning. I'm so very happy!</p> <p>I'm not sure why this makes me so happy but I suppose it's all do do with having something brand new and shiny that is ultimately yours that makes us wiggle on the inside (and for me, on the outside too!)</p> <p><span>It shall be a <span><strong>Fujitsu Siemens ESPRIMO Mobile V5535</strong>. Not ultimately amazing but since I am getting it for a mere £200 due to Vikings-direct selling out of the medion laptop I wanted then it won't be too bad updating anything on it to a higher spec! </span></span></p> <p><span><span>Dual core as well... that's always handy apparently! And at least now I know how to partition the hard drive so it should be better for speed, and for not losing data so easily. My poor desktop will be made redundant. Just like everything else in this financially unstable time.</span></span></p> <p><span><span>only 2-4 days... so with fingers crossed I'll have it by friday. Oo it's so special. Due to mum taking leave then at least there shall be someone to recieve it =)</span></span></p> <p><span><span>new laptop</span></span></p> <p><span><span>all lovely and mine! YAY!</span></span></p> <p><span></span></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-am-getting-a-new-laptop-and-thus-i-am-immensely-happy-5412558/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>new-laptop-happyhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-am-getting-a-new-laptop-and-thus-i-am-immensely-happy-5412558/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/waiting-for-the-ucas-replies-5410741/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-20:/2009/01/20/waiting-for-the-ucas-replies-5410741/Tue, 20 Jan 2009 10:49:21 +0100 <p>I'm still waiting for UCAS to e-mail me.<br>Still hoping I get the place I want to go.<br>Crossing my fingers that nothing will be wrong.</p> <p>I've heard from two uni's but they're further away and not as good, and I want to stay at home and go to uni due to the currently climate. I'd even be able to get lifts in and out with mum. Other days the train would take just 20 mins.</p> <p>I'm crossing my fingers so tightly as I don't want to leave Adam. Not that he wouldn't be able to see me, but we thrive on seeing each other every day. These last two week have been hard enough with not seeing him during the week whilst I revise, yet it has made us even happier to see each other so even though we've nearly been together for two years we'd do the snogging at the door for half an hour when he knocks on the door. ah..... young love.... isn't it bliss?</p> <p>I love it</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/waiting-for-the-ucas-replies-5410741/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/waiting-for-the-ucas-replies-5410741/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/a-comment-made-evolution-and-love-5410711/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-20:/2009/01/20/a-comment-made-evolution-and-love-5410711/Tue, 20 Jan 2009 10:42:25 +0100 <p>This was a comment I made to another blogger (as you can see it was long, do keep talking too much even when I'm typing!) He was commenting on love being all bio-chemical. This was my response (can you tell I love Biology and Psychology, and that I've recently been goigng over evolution!)</p> <p>------------------------------------</p> <p>If you think at the lustful-love from an evolutionary perspective, it is the feeling the monogamous homo sapiens feel for the first few years (give or take) just to make it highly likely they'll copulate like mad and thus pass on their genes on to the next generation. People report their love can change when they have children, as now this love is aimed at the child in bringing up their 'genes', as they now no longer need the inter-sexual competitions for reproducing or the intra-sexual competition to win a 'mate'. People want to keep the lust, but unfortunately this mostly dies down after at the 7 year itch usually?</p> <p>If you look at us at the most basic level we are a set of genes that are trying to keep on replicating themselves, but getting better by mating with specific partners who increase the genetic fitness of our offspring, the meaning of life is to reproduce, and our hormones and chemical imbalances are all geared towards that.</p> <p>You could state that due to evolution we have not yet fully evolved for this urban lifestyle so we are constantly fighting our natural instincts, with pictures of perfect men and perfect women making us disatisfied with our selves and our partners. Recent studies have stated that where violent movies increase testosterone and agression in males, rom-coms often give women ideals about relationship that are far from the truth but they want to live them non-the-less.</p> <p>I am amazed by this chemical imbalance we call love and lust.</p> <p>I just hope it doesn't go anytime soon for me and Adam!</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/a-comment-made-evolution-and-love-5410711/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/a-comment-made-evolution-and-love-5410711/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-m-off-to-the-land-of-nod-5409597/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-20:/2009/01/20/i-m-off-to-the-land-of-nod-5409597/Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:09:04 +0100 <p>... I believe the title says it all. Yet due to the revision my brain is active and thus that may be harder than I hope it be! *fingers crossed* that I get to sleep soon as I'm getting a headache!</p> <p>xxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-m-off-to-the-land-of-nod-5409597/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>revision-sleephttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/i-m-off-to-the-land-of-nod-5409597/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/still-haven-t-made-a-back-up-file-for-the-pc-5409300/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2009-01-19:/2009/01/20/still-haven-t-made-a-back-up-file-for-the-pc-5409300/Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:17:54 +0100 <p>And I'm still not writing in regularly. *slaps hand for being naughty*</p> <p>It's been a few months since I last wrote in, and that was when I was having my AVG problems. I now have a full McAffee system which is brilliant thank you very much and if i so much as sneeze it tells me that there was a strange occurance in the air around the computer and it may just be a hacker... ok it's not that good, but it is good. The one problem is things can go a bit more slowly but since I'm getting a new laptop soon it shouldn't matter all that much really. This will just be the basic at home computer for fiddling around on and my laptop shall be my baby!</p> <p>I was going to buy a laptop from Vikings-direct but I waited until after christmas (big mistake) as it was out of stock and then they sent me e-mails saying it would never be in stock and it was a website problem and that it shouldn't have even been on the website after christmas. I'm sitting tight as they stated they have another laptop lined up for all of us poor people who were heartbroken and we'd get it for a similar price, with similar specs etc, and it would be exclusive to us. YIPPEE!</p> <p>I'm also a happy bunny as I recently got tax back to the tune of 1 thousand pounds. As McDonalds likes to state "I'm lovin' it" I jumped around my house like a loon when I got the cheque through which I shall put into my lovely account tomorrow. My boyfriend was most amused! (but then again he's put up with me for nearly 2 years so he's used to my weird-isms by now! )</p> <p>In true 'Fast Show' style i'd like to step out of my odd shed and state "Today I have mostly been revising Psychology and defraging my computer"... ok not as funny as the things they say but it'll have to do as it's true. Evolutionary theories behind human intelligence, reproductive behaviour and mental illness for today. oh lovely!</p> <p>Tommorrow will be Evolutionary reasons for animal behaviour, learning, and... something else! lol Along with causality, predjudices and something else.... it's late and I'm tired, I just can't remember anymore!</p> <p>I should go and move around as my bum is numb and my phone is taking ages to back-up (ha, I can back-up my phone but not my computer.... bad bad me!)</p> <p>Sorry for spelling mistakes and the like but I can't be fiddle-sticked to check through ANY of it =P</p> <p>xxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/still-haven-t-made-a-back-up-file-for-the-pc-5409300/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>psychology-evolution-defragmenting-tax-backhttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2009/01/20/still-haven-t-made-a-back-up-file-for-the-pc-5409300/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/09/avg-8-my-computer-and-me-4425326/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2008-07-09:/2008/07/09/avg-8-my-computer-and-me-4425326/Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:18:51 +0200 <p>You may or may not know from my previous posts that I had had some issues with AVG 8 and my computer.</p> <p>I managed to fix this problem.... or so I thought. Lo and behold, when yesterday my boyfriend turned on my PC to check his e-mail and the PC rebooted itself whilst loading up...</p> <p>Whilst loading AVG, I tired everything that I'd done the day before but unfortunately it didn't work this time thus I have had to use system restore to take my computer back to Saturday's settings and thus no AVG which is most annoying. </p> <p>I shall now have to try and contact AVG (though they're only e-mail based) to get my £50 back. Shocking I know. I thought it would only cost 36 but obviously that was without tax and at first glance I thought that the backup CD they send as an extra was free... It wasn't.... grrrrr. That'll teach me not be stupid again....</p> <p>Anyway I should get ready for work....</p> <p>xxx</p> <p>PS: I still haven't made back up CDs <img class="smiley" src="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/tinymce/jss/plugins/blogdeemotions/smilies/11redface.gif" border="0" alt=""> I promise to do this soon though.... I think!!!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/09/avg-8-my-computer-and-me-4425326/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/09/avg-8-my-computer-and-me-4425326/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/i-joined-the-gym-aren-t-you-proud-of-me-4415316/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2008-07-07:/2008/07/07/i-joined-the-gym-aren-t-you-proud-of-me-4415316/Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:07:20 +0200 <p>I joined the gym. Are you proud or are you mocking me with your thoughts of "your fitness attempts failed before"....</p> <p>I am still slightly in awe of the fact that I have now been to the gym and swimming twice since Thursday. Granted I am not pushing myself amazingly hard as I know what happens when your ideas get the better of you. It never quite works and you just end up feeling achy and cursing the world. Just like that friggin Davina Mccaul work out video with the squats from hell. I think that squats were created by the devil (NB: I'm not in anyway religious, sorry to offend anyone who is!) as every time I do them I cannot walk correcly for days afterwards. In fact I think I resemble something out of a Western movie from decades ago with my bent legged walk. Yet I walk in pain. They walk like that because... well I don't know it's just the cliché cowboy-western walk is it not? </p> <p>But yes anyway, I will have to pay about £17 a month since I am a student yet due to the fact that is usually cost £7 to go to the gym and that an adult membership is £35 a month then I think I am rather well off. Unfortunately there is a stupid join up fee of about £30 which will lighten my pocket but I'm sure that it'll alll be good in the end! </p> <p>Thursday was my first day and I have to say that I was very nervous. I wasn't as nervous as the guy who gave us the induction though. He was very lovely and kind but he stuttered a bit and you could tell by his selfconscious demeanour that he wasn't the usual gym worker who tend to be very self assured etc. He obviously wasn't one of the 'cool kids' at school. I immeadiately took a liking to him. </p> <p>I felt a bit stupid when I first started using the bikes as I couldn't quite get the pin out to lower the seat which was embarressing and then made me wonder if you were even supposed to remove the pin which I'm sure made me colour up to a lovely red colour. I hate the fact that I always blush.... Grrr......</p> <p>I finally got the pin out and glanced through the programs picked a manual and then begin palying with my MP3 player to find something to listen to. Obviously the bikes don't have any electricity to them and it's your movement which keeps the screen on -this took me about 3 attempts to realise which then made me understand why the Gym guy (I should really find out his name) said that they were self powered!- I finally started pedalling and really got into it. I then moved to the corss trainer and the rowing machine. Each time trying to remember what I used to do at the last gym (during year 10 I joined the gym next to my school and went on a Tuesday and a Thursday)  and also trying to look like I knew what I was doing, and reading the instructions whilst pretending to check my MP3 player. </p> <p>I didn't dare try the running machine. Not yet. I'm most definately not fit enough, and running next to Adam who easily completes 7km in half an hour (though of course very sweaty etc) but still he has the fitness and the driver to do it would make me feel very small and stupid. </p> <p>I also have a a propensity to need to pee whenever running on a running machine. I don't know why. </p> <p>I even get off and go to the toilet to find what felt like I was going to embarress myself turns out to be so insignificant that I finally understand how my mum felt when she was heavily pregnant with me! </p> <p>I also did some sit up's. The gym guy came and commented that I was doing it right and well done... I didn't tell him that I knew because I used to do an abs session at my last gym!!! It made me feel 'wiggly' non-the-less. (Wiggly is my reference to how a happy puppy seems to wriggle with excitement rather than wag!) </p> <p>Adam and I also went on Saturday and did some swimming too. Due to forgetting my sports top (which Acts as my sports bra a I have small enough breast and I know if I wear a sports bra I will have non, thus I wear my sports top over my bra but under my top.... I'm not ready to show off my middrift whilst working out. Not that I'm big, but my stomach isn't toned and thus i hate the way it bunches together when I lean over on the bike.... Gosh I'm more of a priss than I thought! </p> <p>Ah well. Tonight I'm going to work and then I'm going to the gym. I'm really looking forward to it and tonight the sauna shall be on, so I'm looking forward to that very much! </p> <p>xxx</p> <p> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/i-joined-the-gym-aren-t-you-proud-of-me-4415316/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/i-joined-the-gym-aren-t-you-proud-of-me-4415316/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/avg-8-and-a-computer-that-wouldn-t-stay--4415225/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2008-07-07:/2008/07/07/avg-8-and-a-computer-that-wouldn-t-stay--4415225/Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:44:42 +0200 <p>Last night was a very interesting night. I decided at 9 that I should probably purchase the full version of AVG due to the fact that my virus protection wasn't that amazing and I know that I should try to protect my computer a bit better. </p> <p>So there I go to the website and purchase said AVG 8 and begin to download. First time it went a bit odd but second time it was fine. Went through the whole procedure and then restarted the computer....</p> <p>Logged on, waited for th the various bits and bobs to load which is basically only the internet and the antivirus. - I hate having more than 3 icons in the bottom right I don't relish them using up valuble CPU and RAM when I'm not even using them. - and the AVG box popped up, and then the computer restarted itself. I was rather shocked at the time and I'm sure my boyfriend -who was on the phone- found it highly amusing when I suddenly stopped midsentene to exclaim "what the buggery?". It then rebooted itself and we went through this process three more time before I realised that this was not going to get better. </p> <p>Now I'm a clever user of computers, yet I have been amazingly lazy at not making back up files *blushes accordingly* yes I know very naughty of me *smacks hand* but I am always putting it off until another day. I suppose when I finally do get the blue/black screen of death I will eventually realise I should have been better and be very sad about the millions of things I will have lost and then shell out goodness knows how much for someone to save as much as they possibly can for me! </p> <p>I got a bit frantic, and asked my boyfriend to log on and check my e-mails and pass on any details I may need in contacting AVG and he e-mailed them for me. </p> <p>Then I had a brain wave and realised that my mum's partner had an ibnternet phone (as have I but being on pay as you go I am loath to use it) thus I used his and connected it to his laptop and went online to figure out what the heck I should do. Finally I figured out how to get the pc into safe mode (the begining screens don't help you do this just tell you F1 for boot option and others that had nothing to do with it.</p> <p>Spent about 3 times working out when exactly to press the required f8 and loaded it into save mode and reverted all savings to yesterday. The computer was then fine *big sigh of relief* I re-downloaded the AVG thining there may have been an error but it persisted again, I tried to run the file fixer that comes with the download but obviously pc had other ideas and rebooted before I could do anything. How Joyous! </p> <p>I then had another brainwave and started the pc up in safe mode, ran this file fixing thing and with trepidation I rebooted the computer. I let it load and waited for it to laugh in my face and reboot...... Thankfully it didn't and I am now a very happy bunny! </p> <p>Needless to say I have yet to make backup copies but I am going to do so tomorrow most definately..... I'm not stupid and I'm not playing with fire anymore!!!!!</p> <p>x</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/avg-8-and-a-computer-that-wouldn-t-stay--4415225/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/07/07/avg-8-and-a-computer-that-wouldn-t-stay--4415225/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/06/27/it-s-been-a-while-193-days-in-fact-4371908/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2008-06-27:/2008/06/27/it-s-been-a-while-193-days-in-fact-4371908/Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:25:55 +0200 <p>I've been such a good blogger have I not? The last time I posted a blog was 193 days ago, or so my blog settings tell me. I feel quite reprimanded by that. </p> <p>I could say that life has been too busy for me to post, but it hasn't. I have merely been too lazy to even think about posting a blog. Well, actually that isn't true. There has been many a time I have signed online and begin to write a blog to then become rather bored and think "I don't actually have anything worth writing so why bother?" I then shut down the page and go and do something else instead, such as read the same book I have read many times before or talk to friends about mundane stuff such as "What did you have for dinner" on MSN.</p> <p><strong>I will be better. Or at least I'll try.</strong></p> <p>I have just glanced over my 22 old posts and laughed out loud -which startled my dog; not because I don't laugh and this scared him, it was because he was too busy nibbling my bed cover, a strange habit he now does, but it's better than him nibbling his legs, which makes me feel like I have an "Emo-dog" as it were, and unable to cut himself he nibbles his legs- I laughed outloud by reading my previous statements that I was going to become healthy. It never quite worked though. </p> <p><strong>I tried but failed miserably.</strong></p> <p>I am now about to try again and this time doing the "slowly-but-surely" way. I have already started to jog for about 10 mintues when walking the dog. It may not be much but it's as much as my willpower and very unhealthy body can stand at the moment. It shall lead to bigger things. Onwards and upwards etc. </p> <p>I am also recruiting my boyfriend Adam to become my personal fitness instructor, as even though he isn't as fit as he was before he met me (I am an amazingly bad influence,) he can still run on a treadmill for 30 mintues before stopping. This amazes me greatly and I worship his godlike fitness or at least it seems like it's godlike to me due to neither having the willpower or fitness to strive towards such goals. </p> <p>Yet I did buy the fitness kit; in fact the blue ball is often a source of much amusement with Adam picking it up and throwing it at my stomach when I go to stand up off the bed, and thus pushing me back down again. This sounds like he is abusive but it is actualy quite funny, yet obviously after the 8th time in a row I tell him smilingly yet through gritted teeth to "please stop that", he knows the warning signs and smilingly but repentantly stops and is very pleasant towards me! </p> <p>Anyway I shall have to update you on my life at another point as I am started to get a headache and should go and drink copious ammounts of water that shall have me running to and from the toilet all day as I obviously have the bladder the size of a pea. </p> <p>cheerio! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/06/27/it-s-been-a-while-193-days-in-fact-4371908/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2008/06/27/it-s-been-a-while-193-days-in-fact-4371908/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/bill_bailey_parking_tickets_and_a_bucket~3455283/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2007-12-17:/2007/12/17/bill_bailey_parking_tickets_and_a_bucket~3455283/Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:41:45 +0100 <p>I told you that we were to see Bill Bailey last months. </p> <p>It was quite fun, and now we can laugh about the situation, but it was very annoying at the time, and I wasn't such a happy bunny!</p> <p>We had had it arranged for around half a year but that didn't seem to help!</p> <p>Adam was at work, and so as soon as he got back, we set off to Birmingham, picking up a friend on the way. It only took us 2 hours to get there, which on a Friday night is very good! We arrived at 5.30 pm, and had until 8pm until we were to get there so we were happy. </p> <p>We had something to eat (though basically it was a burger without the Bun as our friend said he'd have food ready, and he didn't!)</p> <p>We waited around for a while, I tidied up his living room (it was a tip!) He went to pick up a friend that was coming too, and finally it was about 7.30 and My friend gave us our tickets and said we were going. I looked down at the ticket and said "The doors opened at 6.30, not 8! It STARTS at 8" to which he replied "yeah I know, we have enough time"</p> <p>We all rushed around getting ready. He told me he'd preordered a taxi, but Adam then told me, he'd only done it as I'd ran out of the room to get changed. We waited until after 8 for the taxi but it didn't arrive, so we went in the car. He didn't even know here the NIA was, so we drove around, looked for signs and then followed them. </p> <p>The parking was HORRENDOUS. Really very bad. It took us half an hour to park, and in the end we did so illegally. Looking back, we should have waited for taxi's, as we may have been late but wouldn't have had to find parking spaces. </p> <p>We got into the NIA at 8:50. 10 minutes later Bill finished his first set, and his second set was only around 30-45 mins long, so we missed basically the whole of the first half, and the majority of the thing. We were all very stressed. </p> <p>When we got back to the car, we found parking tickets on them, thus Adam had to pay a £30 fine. (he didn't look happy at all)</p> <p>Then My friend didn't even know the way back to his own flat as he doesn't drive. I couldn't have cared since I'd printed off doirection there and back just in case anything happened, but he'd told me the NEC not the NIA. He tried to use the sat nav on his phone (which he pays extra for, though I'm not sure why since he doesn't drive) so we spent an hour or more driving around aimlessly trying to find where we were supposed to be going. Then the two cars got split up, but thankfully we got back together. </p> <p>Then we were all starving due to the fact the food he'd promised had been shit when we first got there. So then we ordered pizza, and were given an hours waiting time. Then he'd knocked his phone off so when the pizza delivery turned up (at about 1pm) they phoned him, couldn't get through and thus went back. Finally after 2 hours we got the pizza. It was actually horrible, thus nobody ate much. </p> <p>I decided I'd had enough and went to sleep all curled up to Adam, eager to go home the next day.</p> <p>Even though it was stressfull, it was actually quite fun really, now we look back on it and laugh. I know from now on, that I should never leave any organising to anyone else as it always falls down around us! </p> <p>Anyway, that's about it. I think I'll go and put some washing on, as I'm fast running out of clothes!</p> <p>xxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/bill_bailey_parking_tickets_and_a_bucket~3455283/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/bill_bailey_parking_tickets_and_a_bucket~3455283/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/stupid_things_pretty_girls_say~3455279/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2007-12-17:/2007/12/17/stupid_things_pretty_girls_say~3455279/Mon, 17 Dec 2007 12:40:36 +0100 <p>I said in my last blog that I would post a blog about the stupid things that some of the girls in some of my classes have said over the past few months. Some made me bite my lip so I didn't laugh, and others made me want to put my head in my hands and sob openly about the stupidity and the ignorance of these people.</p> <p>I'm not always sure they always are as dumb as they play up to be, but these things were said in earnest.</p> <p>Enjoy <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>In Pyschology:<br> Girl 1 - Neurotic; doesn't that have something to do with porn and sex?<br> Girl 2 - No you mean erotic. I'm sure neurotic people enjoy sex too though.</p> <p> Prof - Because often we hold back our inner thoughts, and personal information about ourselves when we first meet people....<br> Girl 1 - I love talking about myself to everyone </p> <p> Girl 1 - Even if Milgram explained that we can all obey and do like, majorly bad stuff to people, I still think Germans obviously have problems. Have you heard them talk English? It's horrible. </p> <p>English:<br> Girl 1 - So we have a prime minister and his name is Tony Brown right, and he lost some disks with peoples details on it. I don't care, why does everyone else?</p> <p> Girl 1 - I want to be in parliament when I'm older. I think I'd be good at talking n stuff. I really care about issues, I even put 20p in an oxfam collection box.<br> (Later in same lesson) So what do people in Parliament do? Do they write the newspapers?</p> <p>When asked why one girl said Wuthering Heights seemed unrealistic, one girl replied:<br> Girl 1 - Cathy would not love Heathcliffe because he's ugly. I cannot love someone who is ugly, it just doesn't happen. That is why it's unrealistic. </p> <p>During break talking about breast size<br> Girl 1 - would you rather have really big boobs, or small boobs?<br> Girl 2 - really big boobs, it's just better and those girls have more fun, and boys like them<br> Girl 1 - yeah, you get better boyfriends who are hot and have cars when you have big boobs, otherwise you get ones that just work and are brainy and boring<br> Girl-with-brains - I'd prefer to have small boobs, as then you know that boys want you for your personality and who you are rather than your breast size. Also People with big breats can get back problems and stuff so It's not worth it.<br> Girl 1 - Right...... (when girl with brains had gone) Oh My God was she stupid or what?</p> <p>There are more but I can't think of them at the moment!</p> <p>xxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/stupid_things_pretty_girls_say~3455279/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/17/stupid_things_pretty_girls_say~3455279/#commentshttp://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/14/just_to_update_you~3442913/tag:slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk,2007-12-14:/2007/12/14/just_to_update_you~3442913/Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:24:56 +0100 <p>I'm sorry that I haven't been very good at writing my blog. A lot has been happening at the moment and so each time I thought that I would come on and write a new blog, I decided against it, as then I get addicted and the million and one things that I should be doing get pushed out of the way. I promise to be better (I can remember saying this a few months ago too..... not good!)</p> <p>Anyway, to bring you swiftly up to date:<br> When my my Aunt's wedding and it was very lovely. Nice family get together. It was the first time my boyfriend Adam had met my family, and he survived it very well! I was told that I wouldn't have to make a speech even though I was the best woman as it were, but I was pushed up to talk. I stood up, said I wished them well, told Raymond that he had made my aunt so happy, and burst into tears and had to sit down.<br> I was rather embarressed but was told it was a very nice speech and many of the peple there had begun crying with me, so well done me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Unintentional but good non-the-less! </p> <p>I carried on with my studies. I seem to be doing quite well. I'm hoping that this time around I shall do much better. I still don't know many people at the college as they seem to have split off into their gtroups quite quickly, but I'm not truly bothered. Most of them seem to be too intent about looks and bitch behind their "best friends" back anyway, so I'm better off out of it. I laughed loudly the other day when I'd spoken about my boyfriend with a friend called Rhi, and one of the girls said "Oh My God, she actually has a boyfriend." I obviously don't cut my hair enough, wear enough revealing cloths, and too often wear the same jeans too days in a row to be considered as "hot" or "fashionable" by those girls.... I think I might have to post a blog on the stuid things I have heard them say which makes me either laugh or want to shoot them for their idiocy!</p> <p>I had my 19th Birthday Party which was rather fun. Played such games as musical statues (for a laugh to remind us what it was like when we were 5) and got quite tipsy. One friend jumped out of the ground floor window and managed to twist his ankle and so another friend mum picked him up and took him to AnE <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> Thankfully he was ok but it was stupid. It's because he was trying to show off to Rhi. She wasn't particularly impressed!<br> We also kept doing a lot of shots so everyone bar myself ended up being ill. My house only has one bathroom, yet thankfull there were black bin liners and green plastic garden waste bags for everyone to use <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Highly handy when there is only one room. Other than that there wasn't really any misshap except for the Biro on the cream leather suite, don't know how it got there and there was a lot of it.<br> After my boyfriend rushed out early on Sunday morning to get some £40 biro remover, and some cheap hairspray (My Aunt had suggested that. She's always handy to phone in an emergency!) we managed to get it off of the sofa, much to my relief as my mum is a lovely person, except when faced with something like that! In the end the hairspray for 20p worked better than the actualy remover. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mad.gif" alt=">:(" class="middle" border="0"> oh well! it was off and that is all that mattered!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>At the end of november we went to birmingham to see Bill Bailey. Oh that was a very stressfull trip. Needless to say a lot of stuff happened, so I will have to write another blog about it. But looking back now we laugh but at the time it was so stressfull!</p> <p>Anyway, this was just a quick blog to get everything up to date.<br> Now I'll go and see what everyone else has been doing in my absence!</p> <p>xxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/14/just_to_update_you~3442913/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://slightlyinsane.blog.co.uk/2007/12/14/just_to_update_you~3442913/#comments